Well, it sure has been a while since I've done one of these. And by "one of these," I mean both a review and a post on my own blog. Holy Crap! Well, I've been in a mood to review, and I sure haven't got anything better to do lately, so I thought I'd step back into the fray with a movie I didn't expect to enjoy as much as I did, The A-Team.
As usual, my Batman & Robin Movie Gradation Scale will be used to judge this movie in the most asinine way possible. Here's a refresher:
0/4 - Perfect or near perfect movie
1/4 - An otherwise good movie that has negative aspects too big to overlook
2/4 - Mediocre; not bad, but nothing special
3/4 - An otherwise bad movie with a few good aspects
4/4 - Bad movie, with almost nothing to keep your attention
5/4 - A special score for movies so bad they dissolve livers
So yeah, The A-Team:
Story
The year is...well, it's not 1972, but it's, like, 2002 or something, and a crack team of covert commandos have a bodacious adventure together, and form The A-Team; inexplicably America's most valuable military asset. What about them makes them so valuable? They're out of their minds and have issues with authority, that's why!
OK, so, cut to present day, and the A-Team are slumming it in Iraq. Internal Affairs or something ask the A-Team not to get involved in some sting to recover stolen US Mint printing plates that are being smuggled out of Baghdad, but naturally, Hannibal (their chain-smoking, plan-loving leader for those who haven't ever heard of The A-Team, played by Liam Neeson) goes to his superior and, while OFFICIALLY he's still ordered not to, the team's given his tacit approval, and they pull off a daring plan to get them back. The mission is a success, but it turns out to be a trap; their superior dies in a car explosion, and in the confusion, the plates are stolen by Black Forest mercenaries (der I wonder if these guys are supposed to be Blackwater?). Framed for a crime they didn't commit, they're sent to federal prison - from which they promptly escape.
So OK, I forgot to mention, but there's this CIA guy named Lynch (Patrick Wilson)who tipped the A-Team off to the whole issue with the stolen plates back in Iraq. He comes to see Hannibal in prison and arranges his escape. Hannibal then helps bust the rest of the team out, which include Face (Bradley Cooper), B.A. Baracus (Quentin Jackson) and Mad Dog Murdock (Sharlto Copley). Their goal is to get the plates back and restore their good names by proving they were set up.
Now, let me say right now - the story itself, the way it's set up, and the cliches used, are exactly, 100% the same as any other "covert team that doesn't play by the rules must get behind enemy lines to save the President's daughter" action movie ever made. The general who died? He's secretly alive and was in on the whole thing. The most helpful character at the beginning of the movie? You'd better believe he's the bad guy. The hot IA agent (Jessica Biel)? She had a relationship with Face at some undisclosed time, but they broke up and hate each other at the beginning of the movie, but are making out by the end. I could TIME it when certain plot elements popped up. It's entirely predictable what would happen. However, I am totally forgiving of it in the case of this movie, because of one simple element...
Characters/Acting
...and that element is the A-Team themselves. These people were AWESOME.
Hannibal was played to perfection by Neeson. Sure, he was chewing the scenery pretty bad, but as well he should be - it's Hannibal! His first scene in the movie was probably my second-favorite. He was like a chain-smoking Batman! And you could tell Neeson was loving every minute of it. He really got a chance to stretch and have fun with this one.
Cooper's Face was also pretty entertaining. He was your typical smarmy lady-killer, but within that capacity he did quite well. The film maker's were also smart enough to make him a competent member of the team, too. If he'd just been this playboy making kissy-faces with Biel the whole movie, I don't think I'd have liked him as much. Heck, I can guarantee that much.
Quentin "Rampage" Jackson was the lame duck of the team, considering he's a UFC fighter and not an actor. If I was given the chance to coach Jackson on his performance, and he would be FORCED to adhere to my recommendation, but the stipulation was I had to limit my critique to a single word, it's no contest what word I would choose - ENUNCIATE! Half of his lines were mumbled so badly I had no idea what he was saying. But besides that, he held up as B.A. - he looked the part, he could brandish "Foo's" with the best of them, and he had some well-delivered comedic moments. He FELT like B.A., and ultimately, that's what's most important to me.
But by far the winner of the team is Sharlto's Murdock. After seeing the poster pictured above while waiting in line with a friend to see Iron Man 2 (which will hopefully be reviewed soon), I found Copley's gaze hilariously "come hither"-esque, and have been jokingly swooning over it for the last month. Well, let me tell you, he legitimately earned every last swoon, because he was awesome. I love Copley as an actor ever since I saw him in District 9. It's nice to see him get such a high-profile role so quickly, and totally winning that performance to boot. He's hilarious. He's every bit as crazy in the role as he's supposed to be. And yet, like with Face's character, he never seemed like he was just there to be goofy. He had a part on the team as deserved as anyone else.
That's the big success of this movie, in fact. They got some actors (and a glorified wrestler) to play characters who were not only on a team, but also friends, and you ABSOLUTELY BELIEVED IT. They had this instant chemistry most actors would kill for. They absolutely made this movie.
The other actors were okay. Patrick Wilson's Lynch was delightfully quirky, but then, we've seen so many quirky action villains already, so he didn't really deliver anything new.
Jessica Biel was, frankly, superfluous to the story. She didn't have to be there AT ALL. She was there to be Face's love interest. Otherwise, she was just following the aftermath of the A-Team the whole movie, and they could have had anyone do that. If she was a character in the original series, forgive me, because being born nearly two months after the series concluded, I have not seen any episodes. But if she was a character, she was woefully miscast or poorly scripted (or both). I didn't like her.
The leader of the Black Forest Cheese Cake Brigade was OK - he didn't totally fall into the "asshole competing military badass" stereotype, but he wasn't overly memorable. The rest of the cast is not worth mentioning because they didn't really do much.
The A-Team is the reason you would go see this movie. Without them, this the same movie you've seen dozens of times already.
Action
Speaking of how the A-Team makes this movie unique is the action. I am going to say it right now - the A-Team attempts to fly a free falling tank...AND SUCCEED. The A-Team allow for stuff that otherwise would seem entirely silly and implausible to the point where I would dislike it, because the A-Team is so silly and implausible as it is. It makes it really fun and, again, THEY FLY A TANK. HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE THAT? It's over the top as hell, but you want it to be.
That said, there were really 4 major action set pieces, and you could REALLY tell when they used practical stunts and when they could use CGI and green screens. Two of the scenes - capturing the plates in Baghdad and kidnapping the supposed-to-be-dead general - were RIDDLED with shaky cam syndrome. It was incomprehensible and it gave me a headache. However, the other two major action scenes - the tank scene and the final, uh, battle I guess - used a significant amount of CGI, and the cinematography was way more steady and manageable. It was still insane but at least I could figure out what was happening. The difference is obvious and frankly, it makes me wish they had used some CG for each scene.
Comedy
So rarely do I find movies funny, especially when they're trying to be. I so rarely go to see comedies in the theatres because more often than not, I will be wasting my money. So when a movie actually IS funny, and not one joke seems strained or forced or unbelievably stupid, I am overjoyed. I was most certainly overjoyed the whole way through this movie. The A-Team is almost effortlessly funny. It's scary. You will laugh your ass off.
Music
If I had to make a guess as to what one thing made The A-Team such a pop culture staple , I would have to guess it was the theme. Sure, the characters are great and it was surely memorable for other reasons, but that theme song is so damn catchy, it kept its memory alive for 20+ years after being cancelled. So when the movie was announced, I was like, "they NEED to use that theme song." Which they did. Buuuuttttt....I dunno. It was used kind of, to grossly misuse the word, schizophrenically. The general motif was used all the time, which was fine. But then there were times where it felt shoehorned into the score. Like, they'd use the motif, and then the following music sounded so jarring and out of place, it felt really forced. There were a couple of times the music was really well-used, but it felt like the filmmakers had a dozen ideas of where to put the theme song in the movie, and they used them all. It's the opposite of the problem with the Transformers movies and how they implement the classic theme. And lastly, the one place it really NEEDED to be (that being a full version of the song played during the first part of the credits), they totally dropped the ball. Overall, I liked that the theme was in the movie, but I wish it had been more focused in how it was used.
The rest of the score was 100%, completely forgettable.
Direction/Editing
I found this to be moderate at best. Clearly Joe Carnahan can hold his own directing an action blockbuster, especially considering the scope of this one. It's just nuts (again, I must reiterate the whole "flying tank" aspect). But as I said earlier, the scenes where practical effects were used, it was obvious shaky cam was used to, I don't know, I guess to make things a little more obscure or something. I apologize, but I am very suspicious of shaky cam. It seems like a way to hide an ineptitude in shooting practical action scenes. Sometimes it's used for a certain effect, such as the first scene in Batman Begins where Bruce goes out and fights crime as Batman. But most of the time, it just seems lazy (like the rest of the action scenes in Batman Begins). And boy, when this movie uses shaky cam, it's some of the worst I have EVER seen. It is so disorienting.
I also had issue with some of the editing. For the most part it was fine, but during the final scene, there's a lot of going back and forth with flashbacks. It's clear it's to set up the trap at the end, but I really didn't care for it. For one, I didn't need the recap because I figured out what they were planning before they explained the plan. Secondly, it just seems, I don't know...insulting. Like it doesn't have faith that we would remember. It flashed back to the same conversation TWICE during the scene. I don't know, it just seemed lazy to me.
But I gotta give the guy props - he knew this movie was about the characters WAY more than the plot, and it showed. This movie truly was an A-Team movie because the team was the main point of the whole movie. If it hadn't been for them being so awesome, I would have been very, very bored.
FINAL SCORE
1/4 - Pretty good, but with some minor problems
This movie is absolutely worth a watch. I've heard a lot of people say they want to see it again right away, and I actually disagree with that - I have no need to see it again. But as far as a typical action movie goes, this toppled my expectations. OK, so they were low, but still! This movie is by all accounts typical as hell, but four bad-ass soldiers for hire hijacked it and made it kick ass. And if nothing else, it has made me anticipate a sequel. It sure as hell sets up for one. And in my book, that's a success.
So that's my review. Remember, if you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if it's playing in a theatre near you, maybe you should watch....The A-Team.
- The Silent G
