Ad Nauseum: HeadOn

Everyone knows it. Everyone has had the slogan ingrained deep within their psyche. "HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead," repeated ad nauseum (pardon the pun). I am certain that anyone who has seen the commercial absolutely loathes it and finds it perhaps the most annoying advertisement ever.

And that is why it is so ingenious.

"What? You're praising an ad?" No, no I am not; it infuriates me as much the next guy. However, even evil geniuses are still geniuses, and the people at Miralus Healthcare are certainly evil. But their ad campaign is a psychological masterpiece, even if it can be considered psychological warfare.

They start with the infamous ad, where they simply repeat the slogan thrice. They never really bother to explain what it's for, they just tell you where to put it. The ad seemed almost unreal; promoting a topical wax designed entirely for the forehead. But it did what it needed to; it got people talking about the brand, whether they intended to purchase it or not. It planted the seed.

Months later, their ads were interrupted by, seemingly, one of us. They rant and rave about how horrible their annoying commercial is. With the most horrible acting and sense of timing in delivery, one could even believe that they were just random people pulled from the street corner. "HeadOn, I HATE(!) your commercial. But I LOVE your product!" The company PAID people to tell others they HATED the commercial! How bold! But what an interesting strategy. First they take a few months to air the most obnoxious advertisements known to man, then they produce metacommercials wherein they decry the previous incarnation. There's a sort of sinister genius in this that one has to respect.

Of course, HeadOn is even more hilarious in that it's essentially useless. They have HeadOn, for the forehead, and ActivOn...for everywhere else. "Apply directly where it hurts," the ad suggests (thankfully without repeating). Well, if in the odd case your forehead is killing you, couldn't you apply ActivOn to the forehead? To have a separate product for a specific part of the body that arguably does not often experience pain seems superfluous.

Though to be fair, ActivOn is supposedly a muscle and joint relaxant, whereas HeadOn is meant for headaches. But just how effective is it in that goal? Not very, according to Wikipedia:

Chemical analysis has shown that the product consists almost entirely of wax.
The two listed active ingredients, white bryony (a type of vine) and potassium
dichromate, are diluted to .000001 PPM and 1 PPM respectively. This amount of
dilution is so great that the product is arguably a placebo.

Not only is it stupid, it's not even medicine! Users of HeadOn are essentially applying candles directly to the forehead!

In the end, HeadOn and its sister drugs are featured in some of the most annoying and infuriating ads known to television. But one has to stand in awe of their moxy; they've found a way to get people to buy glue sticks that don't do anything that you're supposed to rub on your face. Either that means the makers of HeadOn are devious psychoanalytical geniuses, or that society at large is just really stupid. And while I'm a pessimist, I hold out enough hope for mankind to give him credit in this regard; he can't possibly be that stupid.

- Silent G